new fact, packing causes great stress to parents.

| |things ive always thought or wanted to do
| |
__| |____:FUCK YOU MONTFORT I LOVE YOU BUT HATE AT THE SAME TIME!
IVE WANTED TO MOVE OUT OF MONTFORT SINCE THE FIRST DAY I CAME IN
I WANTED TO KILL THAT ASSHOLE THAT BULLIED ME IN SEC 1
SAY POTATOE TAN!
STAY IN SINGAPORE AND LEAVE MY PARENTS.

from now on i shall use this blogsite for my negativeness venting.

the reason why i seem happy all the time in the outside world is cause everything i hate, sad, regret, or emo about is all locked away in my blog.but in life i always get reminded of things. why cant all emotions be locked away in here, then in life, i dont feel that miserable.

the story so far and thoughts:

i regret living this kind of life. my father moves from country to country. so i keep moving with him as well. i hate it. my mom told me get every opportunity within my grasp. turns out, MOST oppertuninites always there WHEN I LEAVE THE COUNTRY.I FUCKIGN HATE THIS KIND OF LIFE SO BAD.

Reasons why moving is bad: no definite friends. no childhood frineds. disruptive education. i dont bloody care if i had to take psle, i want to be in sing. miss oppertuninites like YOV. international schools are fucking ex. countries you have to go that are unfamiliar. you have to start fresh everytime you move. ITS THE KIND OF LIFE THAT I EXPERIENCE TO HATE.

'moving is taking opening doors to new oppertunities and adventure. BULLSHIT. im missing my own adventure IN MY OWN COUNTRY. whats the point of being called a singaporean when you dont live in singapore most of your life? i barely remember my kindergarden days and i cant remember anybody one bit. everyone i know now has friends from way long ago. i barely know anyone from my days. my god. im so envious of this kind of things, i feel so alienified. I SO HATE IT. and another thing. if i lived in singapore from the start till now, i could be in the YOG fuck. like myra lee, rainer ng, all those pros representing sing. if id join swimming or any sport when i was young, i could be representign yog. it would be such a damn big deal and honor. but i had to be stuck with a family that travels alot. and currently, the YOV (" "village) i could have gone with the monfortion classmates to meet athletes and meet new people. my god i wanted to go so bad but NOOOO i had to leave the country and miss the thing. they wouldent allow cause i might AWL. i wanted to go so badly but i just had to move during the yog period.

Im going sad, im going emo, im fustrated, my mom says my blood pressure is high. i feel like just commiting suidice *touch wood*. still though, i hate this. I want to rewind life and go at it my way. i dont care, i want to.